Eyelash Extension Aftermath: Growing Longer, Thicker Eyelashes

21 Mar

Products for Longer, Thicker Eyelashes

Dear Yolo,

I am hoping that this post is like the depressing middle Star Wars movie (The Empire Strikes Back, the best one) where it ends with Luke getting his hand cut off and Han Solo frozen in liquid carbonite. I am hoping that I can follow this post up with a sequel where good experiences a triumph so complete that the joy can only be expressed by singing teddy bears who live in trees and they party so hard that even ghosts be showin’ up!!!

A few months back, I got eyelash extensions (they gave them to me at a shoot), and I liked them so much I maintained them, getting  “refills” every two weeks at this Japanese place called Wink in Midtown.

On the upside, they looked so incredible and I basically wore practically no make up while I had them. On the downside: the extensions do fall out, can get all twisty and weird,  you have to learn to sleep on your back so you don’t make more fall out in your sleep and it feels kind of itchy at first, something you kind of adjust to because you’re vain and you know looking good is sometimes different from feeling good. Additional disadvantages are the cost of the refills (an addiction to crack may be more economical) and that your natural lashes fall out with the fake ones which brings me to my current situation. My natural lashes are now so weak and tiny that the last couple times I’ve gotten refills all the extensions fall out within 2 weeks.

Oh, Vanity. You make me do the weirdest shit.

I’m now attempting life without lash extension, and messing around with products to make my lashes grow and restore them to their former glory.  I am kicking myself, because besides being stick straight, lashes pre-extensions were already long and full and I really didn’t have anything to complain about. I can’t imagine how confused my body must be right now– I’m always ripping and scraping hair off and out of places but now almost arbitrarily encouraging hair to grow around my eyeballs.

As I’ve been writing this to you, I’ve been toying with an inappropriate analogy where I liken my body’s hair growth to Native Americans, thus making the fringe zone around my eyes their “reservation”. Obviously, in this analogy I am the evil white Europeans who don’t understand the beauty and harmony of Native American culture and the fact that this land belongs to them and that basically everything I think of as an advancement is going to lead to disease, Blade Runner (I know, again with the Blade Runner!) and the eventual destruction of the planet.

But what do the casinos represent in this analogy? That is the question, my friend. What are the casinos indeed.

So about two weeks ago, I started using Wet & Wild Megalash Clinical Serum ($7) twice a day and have been coupling that with Dior Lash Plumping Serum ($28) which is an eyelash primer and conditioner.  These products simply condition your lashes so they’re stronger and less prone to breakage which allows lashes to be longer and fuller.

Maroon's Sad Eyelashes Post Extensions

Post Extensions March 2012

I spend quite a bit of time on the intrawebs looking to see if there’s an actual active ingredient in the Wet & Wild product. One site claimed there was some sort of peptide in it that encourages hair growth, but I can’t confirm that and the before and afters posted by other bloggers aren’t exactly impressive. What do I expect for $7 anyway? The only thing aside from the name written on the tube is “Made in China”, an ominous claim that makes me think I should just pony up the $120 for Latisse before my eyeballs start molding and fall out. Greg knows that I was spending practically that much every two weeks for my eyelash extensions and that Latisse actually works like crazy (I used it a couple years ago). The way my doctor instructed me to use it, my one purchase lasted 3 months+. Ok, I guess I just sold myself on that idea.

The pic above is of my eyelashes this morning. The few super long lashes you see are the last remaining extensions which have yet to fall out, just to give you an idea of the adjustment I’m going through.

RIP super-long fake lashes. May flights of drag queens sing thee to thy rest. I’ll update in a few weeks with new pics. You’ll know it went well if you hear teddy bears singing.

Love,

Maroon

Art credit: Debutante Actress Tina L. Meyer Putting on False Eyelashes in Dressing Room at Art.com

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